absence note! (where did april go?)

semi-blog kept on my computer - bite-sized journal entries from the past month and a half.
my gosh, where has april gone?

3/19, 10:07a
today and about the same time yesterday: "bagel, peanut butter and jelly!" (today: "plain bagel, peanut butter and jelly!") yesterday at kiva han. today at hunt library.

odd . . .

3/22, 9:51a
I mean, isn't it a sign that humans are inherently paradoxical by the sheer notion of reason? We tend towards explanation and organization and hope to overstep the barriers of disorder when that's where nature says we should go.

4/3, 10:52p
paper plates and plaited paper
what a dapper diningwear cooler

4/9, 11:46p
every word, only once
read it - try it - quickly
(France and the Great War)

(Edit: Haha and I only read three chapters of this book - about half. Obviously the effort I put forth didn't amount to much.)

4/13, 10:41p
too bad, timeless
commonplace
unfortunate
too bad that we're time-less
it can't last forever
we watched it run out

i'm not trying to sound pretentious or premeditated
i'm just frustrated
(sigh)
you can count the beats
we can strike that discord
i will count the time
it can't last forever
we watched it run out

true, true. i could not honestly say it was all you.
true, true.
although you were at fault, you were oblivious
oblivion
how serious.
hilarious
i wish you'd just . . .

can you count the time?
i'm too busy to keep track of the
days, the noons, the hours and the
seconds we're apart
you know, it's better
i think it's better.
you be my timepiece, and i will be here

finally a way out
let's go out tonight
x our different ways, respective
i cannot stand the burden
but maybe it will lift?
or maybe i'm just
counting in the future
where the seconds are uncertain
time draws out in the present
does it realign sometime?
x will you be mine sometime?

you can count the beats
we can strike that discord
i will count the time
it can't last forever
we watched it run out

(EDIT: "x" means possible omission)

- -
two months behind on Vogue
and just behind in general

4/16, 12:27a
and these colored pencils
paint skylines on her browlines
while she contemplates the bylines
over coffee

and the crinoline
how it's crinkled in the background, over rattan chairs, the porch air is so comforting and

spoons. minus tarnish, next to garnish
set politely on the breakfast tray
unfolds her napkin, folds her paper
my, what a lovely day, the sky's so clear

the day's so dapper

what beauty true

i only wish that you were
here.

(EDIT: I posted this one!)

4/16, 1:00a
but you know
proximity has such an advantage

maybe it was almost simultaneous

(EDIT: I can't even remember what I meant by this. I think friend drama back home. I should footnote my entries or write notes to myself.)

4/30, 6:43p
well, i'm willing to be proven wrong
if you'd like to give it a try
i just don't believe in love
i don't believe in trust at first sight

i think i'm waiting to get it right
if you'd maybe like to come along
we can try and err
and with you there
it just might work out, turn out better
it just might turn out better


I hope you noticed my foray into songwriting :) I'm practicing! I have a draft of your song, but it still needs a lot of work and is far from finished. So in the meantime I'm brushing up on my rhymes and humming a lot.

For a while we had the weather to go along with it (humming), all sunshine and spring. Now it's sunshine and chilly. Which doesn't belong in May. (But is perfectly at home in Pittsburgh.)

P.S. I'm 25 days behind on my French phrase-a-day calendar. I never thought I'd be one of those people - you know, you see those rip-a-page-a-day pads on office desks or countertops, and it's a month behind, and you think, gosh, (whoever), You need to get your life together, you don't even have enough time to read a joke a day/learn a phrase a day/process some wise quote a day, what, are you overworked or just lazy?

I'm both. Bah.

"Nous allons devoir emprunter pour pouvoir payer." We'll have to take out a loan to pay for it.

I was curious