Saturday, May 31, 2008

Once you lose the bad distaste of idleness

Summer is simple, gorgeous

stifling, humid

summer storms

ceiling fans

rocking out to summer jams

driving in the scorching heat

cruising to a tough bass beat

summer twighlight at 8:30

waking up at midday:30

the summer storms . . . "has sharon closed the windows yet?" of your car, she means, which is parked outside and at the mercy of the clouds. don't you wish you could tap dance like those raindrops do? but really, who doesn't find a bath refreshing? if you're lucky, it might last twenty minutes or more, and from your bedroom windowside, to lounge and watch the white rain cut across the torpid air is most invigorating.

one of the best things about summer: driving. windows down, music loud, no AC, just driving in the heat with a call-in requests radio station in the background playing the same fifteen top 40 songs every two hours

the best thing about summer

is that anything is possible

if you can get your mind around the fact that you aren't expected to do anything at all

Friday, May 9, 2008

Okay, yes, I'm going to bed, but - haha - this article:

"The torch en route" -

"Has anyone else noticed how much the presidential campaign and the Olympics are starting to resemble one another?"


So maybe I will sleep inside my coat and / wait on your porch til you come back home / oh, right. i can't find a flight / so i check the weather wherever you are, cause i want to know if you can see the stars tonight / might be my only right / we share the sadness, split-screen sadness

crises with my packing tape

oh my gosh. so nostalgic about so much right now.

listening to chopin's etude in e. trying to write thank-you notes to my bosses at work. looking at old MS Word files instead . . . ! aaah gosh i will have to post some of these later. letters i've written, poetry, short stories, essays, journals. my writing style's changed a lot (thank goodness - i think i liked it best in middle school before the vocab assignments became overintensive and i thesaurus'd like every other word for a more erudite-sounding synonym), but i've kind of been thinking about the same things for the past seven years. that's not so great! but i'm getting back into writing (evidenced here), so i've got some original stuff coming, i just need to copy some of it over into Word (to be read again in another seven years! eeek).

something else i have saved - the itinerary from my choir trip to europe two summers ago, the summer before college. gosh. GOSH that was two years ago, i

no, not "i barely remember it," i remember it, i look at the pictures and can still sing the songs, i loved the cities and the food, but this itinerary brings it back in a whole other way - it has everything we did, every planned event and hotel where we stayed, restaurant where we ate, every dish we ate (dinners were planned and pre-ordered), all our concert events and the times, oh my gosh, i don't think i ever read this through back on . . . Date Modified: Friday, July 20, 2007, 10:44 P.M. So that was after we got back, about three weeks. I must have saved it off of my email before I deleted all of those "Eurotrip emails." I'm not going to read it through now, either (goodness! travel plans down to the minute! and how far away things were from one another). It's just comforting to know it's here. Even though I forgot about it.

Why'd I just switch into capitalization? Okay.

"Cherish truth, pardon error." VOLTAIRE

I re-read a letter i sent to elaine and at the time i wrote it, i was simultaneously watching "tadpole," which has periodic quotes, just quotes on a black background, because the main character likes to read and is a bit of a scholar.

i like that quote. sums up my year.

gosh. i've changed. i can finally say it! i've . . . learned and grown and so much more this year than last year and i'm willing to admit it. and i've done disreputable, questionable things; found fault in others; lamented faults in myself; but at the end of the day (year), ugh . . . you have to let it go. stupid boys and petty fights and bad communication (lack of communication!), you can't overlook it, but after a certain amount of time, there's nothing to do but drop it and laugh and love and hope for better. and know that tomorrow is another day, and if it was something worthwhile to begin with, you will get another chance. to fix it, to leave it, to make something new . . . and though your views may change and you may abandon some precepts for others, at the heart of things there should be a real heart (uhh redundant? a real . . . effort) to seek out truth and to be true to yourself, your values, God, however uncertain all that may be.

paraphrased, but another quote on truth i discovered while reading "please, mr. einstein" last summer:
"I was asked whether I thought the opposite of truth was a mistake or a lie." "Which did you say?" "If my colleagues are to be believed," Einstein says, "I said, 'The opposite of truth is truth."