Saturday, May 9, 2009

Rock candy's melted, only diamonds now remain

I can't wait to go home.

I needed something beautiful to look at, so I started looking at family photos and vacation pictures.

I don't even know if we're going on vacation this year. I don't even know if I'll be able to go if we do.

But I can't wait. Summer at home. I feel so at peace just thinking about it. And excited, but right now, just serene.

I feel rooted in time, somehow. The last wave of stress has ebbed away and now I'm just here, neither looking backward at something unchangeable nor peering into the future at things to be done, sitting on the shore and not moving. I'm just basking in the idea of my sunny Maryland summer and memories of my family hanging out together. I love them. I love the four of them as individuals, but I love spending time with all of them at once. My dad plays jokes on my siblings and my mom makes the room light up when she's having a good day. My sister and I sing songs at dinner and my brother and me do voice impressions. We're kind of quirky when we're around each other, but interdependent and mostly functional. I'm idealistic and think we're better when we're together. And even though we change and learn and grow over time, God makes a way for us to still relate to one another and want to support each other. It's incredible and makes me smile.

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